In an earlier post I alluded to an expectant new arrival, a new travelling companion for the ‘Big Momma’, ‘Snoopy’ and ‘Kevin’ and at that time we were both unaware of its gender. We were also very aware that a certain ‘Royal’ couple were also due to announce a new arrival and knowing our position in the pecking order we ‘chose’ not to ‘steal their thunder’ especially as, unlike ourselves, they do not appear to have their own blog yet and need to rely on other’s writing about them !! Although, for some strange reason it would appear that they may just have a few more followers than we currently do at present ? However, being but mere mortals we are still nevertheless somewhat optimistic that with a little bit of patience we too may soon gather a similar level of popularity and media exposure (Sharon arrested in Spain for drunken and loutish behaviour ! driving on the wrong side of the road ! Sharon arrested in Portugal for drunken and loutish behaviour ! Importation of the UK’s stock of shower gel without a licence ! Sharon arrested in Morocco for drunken and loutish behaviour !). So, “By George it’s a boy !!Congratulations to Katherine and William on the birth of their new son ! but now to announce our own new arrival ?
Now some of the reader’s of our blog may be of the maternal type who are already gushing and thinking perhaps of a new arrival of the pink and wrinkly screwed up face variety, that, in the nicest possible way, looks like it needs a good ironing (Sharon, got a job for you !!!). Perhaps wrapped in a blanket, very little hair, crying, gurgling and spewing type noises from one end and from the other……… well you don’t need me to paint a picture do you ?
Well you would be wrong !! This is what arrived at our house today……………………………
For those of you straining to read the writing on the box, it states in rather large letters “Live Animals” !!!!!!!
Inside the box is our newly adopted male, brown and beige coloured “Tufted Capuchin” called ‘Dave’. ‘Dave’ comes complete with an official ‘Certificate of Adoption” and a ‘Pet Passport’. Fortunately he has already been inoculated against ‘Rabies’, Hep A & B and Mad Monkey Disease !!
Let me tell you a little bit about ‘Dave’ – his particular species are known better, within the travelling water dwellers community, as a ‘Gypsy Traveller Monkey’. Until recently ‘Dave’, having been born here in the UK, has lived all of his life as a fulltime live-aboard on a Canal Boat. However, what with the extended global recession, combined with the demise of the popularity in the rental of ‘Barrel Organs’ for Canal Towpath events and parties, ‘Dave’ had fallen on hard times, even his specialist novelty act of ‘Banana Juggling’ no longer wowed the passers-by. The writing was most definitely on the wall and sadly, the final nail in his particular coffin came with the change of the Waterways Authorities, from the British Waterways to the Canals & Rivers Trust. The increases in their licence fees for water dwellers was too much of an expense to be covered in these desperate times. They came in the dead of night, High Court Sheriffs boarded Dave’s vessel and seized it for non-payment of taxes. ‘Dave’ was homeless and left to climb and swing his way aimlessly along life’s highways and bye-ways until one day, cold, starving and unable to even hold a banana, let alone juggle with one, he was rescued and provided with temporary shelter at the ‘Swindon Monkey Orphanage’ (SMO) (www.tuftedcapuchinorescue.smo.co.uk). Although little did ‘Dave’ know at that time but, if he were not re-homed within 28 days ‘Dave’ would have to go for a very long involuntary sleep !!!
So how did we come to adopt ‘Dave’ you may ask ? A damn good question that I keep asking Natalie King, supposedly a good friend of our Shazza’s ! Natalie is the Chief Executive Officer of the SMO, which is one of her many hobbies and as well as her passion for Tufted Capuchin’s she also enjoys ‘Genealogy’ (Family tree’s) so I guess there is a sort of link there ? Anyway, she researched Dave’s background and history and discovered that ‘Tufted Capuchins’ enjoy travelling and having adventures. Dave has a particular love of the water and enjoys swimming and mostly anything to do with ‘boats’ surprisingly he prefers to spend time Kayaking ? However, he has a fear of the ‘canoe’ as his Great Great Grandfather, a once notorious ‘Tufted Capuchin’ explorer, whilst exploring dense forest in Canada was killed by a ‘Gnu’ and the word association is too much for Dave to bear.
After quite a hectic lifestyle ‘Dave’ now likes to take things easy and enjoy life at a slower pace, he quite enjoys bicycle rides, the outdoor camping lifestyle and as well as banana juggling, he has self-taught himself to play the ‘Spoons’ and the ‘Spanish Guitar’ and quite enjoys doing this around a campfire watching people dance and have fun. Since his ordeal on the canals ‘Dave’ now has a phobia of ‘rain’ and prefers to be in places with lots of sunshine. Soooooooo ! Natalie just happened to think of Shazza and myself and thought that there may be some similarities, but I honestly don’t think that Shazza’s ears stick out that much, well only when the wind is blowing into her face ? However, she did used to take a banana to school everyday ? Mmmmmm ! Natalie may have a point ?
Still not convinced that I wanted or needed another mouth to feed on our limited budget, and how much shower gel will it use ? Ah ! I said “These things tend to be aggressive, don’t they” but Natalie had an answer for every question, “Dave” she said reassuringly “Has no aggressive tendencies although he does have a tendency to wander off if you do not keep a constant eye on him, will cross roads without looking and will steal chocolate if it isn’t locked away”. This ‘Tufted Capuchin’ is spookily too much like Shazza ? they could be relatives ? however, fitting her with a set of baby reins whenever we go out to busy places and keeping the chocolate under lock and key have resolved those little issues. Surely if I can train Shazza a ‘Tufted Capuchin’ should be child’s play shouldn’t it ?
As a last gasp attempt I suggested that Dietary requirements may be an issue as we may end up ‘Wildcamping’ with no access to specialist ‘monkey related’ foodstuffs ! But Natalie had thought of everything and produced a rather brief and simple Menu sheet of Dave’s favourite food:
He loves Cake, Chocolate, BBQ’s and White Bread Toast with ‘Real’ Butter (Another Shazza trait !)
He Hates Salad and is ‘Allergic’ to Lettuce (Mmmm, a monkey after my own heart)
He Loves eating out at ‘Posh’ Restaurants ! …………………………. WHAT ?
So, it looks as though we are the proud new owners of our very own ‘Tufted Capuchin’ called Dave ! No money exchanged hands as ‘Tufted Capuchins’ can only be ‘gifted’. However, and there is always a catch isn’t there ? In return for this ‘Gift’ we are obliged to love him, take care of him, cater to his every whim, provide him with an adventure of a lifetime (again sounds spookily like someone else I know) and we must provide regular updates, including photographs, of everywhere he goes ……… “OKAY ! But” ? I said in the most manly way I could muster when you are in the process of having a tantrum and tears are rolling down your face, “If he so much as calls me ‘Jeeves’…………………?”
And so our travelling band grows by one, readers of this blog and loyal followers, meet “Dave” our ‘Tufted Capuchin”, get used to him as I guess you will be seeing lot’s more of him over the coming ‘Big Adventure’